thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Randomize