Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
