Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Pants are for mortals
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
