dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
