No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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