Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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