Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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