Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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