My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
