The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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