Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
