why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
