I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
did you just send me my own nude
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
