Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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