I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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