you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
