And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize