My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
