you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
