Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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