Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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