He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
