I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
