Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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