Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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