sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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