Nicole vs. Life
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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