Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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