mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
