Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
