how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
