12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
