didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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