how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
