You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
