so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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