Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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