I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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