That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
