dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
