She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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