I cockslap morals
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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