just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
