White coat. Heels.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
