Your face is a jimmy john
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
