oh fat girl friday strikes again...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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