look no pants
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i came on her dog
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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