Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize