dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
