he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
