I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
