I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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