when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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