garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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