I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
