you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
