gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
