he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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