Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
