just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
