I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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