He kissed a someone with a penis
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
