Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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