Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
