So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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