That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
